Hoy os traigo una historia que tiene casi 20 años. Derek Redmond fue un corredor de los Juegos Olímpicos de Barcelona en 1992. Era uno de los favoritos y, a mitad de carrera, sufrió una lesión gravísima en el tendón de Aqulies derecho (se le desgarró el músculo y parte del tendón) y cayó al suelo. Aún así, y con una de las lesiones más dolorosas que hay para un atleta, se puso en pie, y terminó la carrera, llorando de dolor….y eso sí, acompañado por su padre, que evadiendo todos los guardias de seguridad, saltó a la pista y le acompañó hasta la meta. Un vídeo muy emotivo. Un ejemplo más de que en la vida, lo importante no es no sufrir dificultades, sino la forma en que las afrontamos. Os pongo primero una versión en inglés, donde se ve sin alteraciones y de forma más realista y luego una, a mi gusto con demasiado “adorno”, pero que está en castellano. Espero que os guste.
Her:"Alan ... I'm so glad to have you as the featured author at our event..."
Me:"Look forward to it."
Her:"So ... just out of curiosity ... how do most women you meet respond to you being so upfront and candid about your desire to ... uhm ... (blushes a bit) ... you know ..."
Me:"My desire to fuck them?"
Her (giggles):"Yes. Have you ever been slapped or cursed out?? When you just come right out and say bold, X-rated things to women?"
Me:"Slapped? No. Never. Cursed out? (laughs) Yes. I would call it 'harshly criticized' ..."
Her:"That's what I would expect."
Me:"Why would you automatically expect a negative reaction more so than a positive response?"
Her:"Because most women I know don't like to be sexually straightforward with men ... and they don't like men to be sexually straightforward with them..."
Me:"Why? Be specific..."
Her:"Because most women find it crass, disrespectful, inappropriate, or even insulting...."
Me:"Why though ... be specific ...."
Her:"For starters, most women don't like to be perceived as 'promiscuous' or 'whores'. Not all women are sluts..."
Me:"So because I'm upfront about the fact that I want to have sex with you, that automatically makes you a 'promiscuous whore' or a 'slut'?? Do you define yourself ... or are you defined by how you assume I perceive you to be..."
Her (giggles):"Good question Alan. I know who I am ... I know I'm not a 'whore' or a 'slut'.'"
Me:"Okay. Then what's the real issue."
Her:"I guess ... when a man is upfront about his desire to ... uhm ... fuck me ... then that eliminates opportunities for other types of interactions..."
Her:"You know. I might want to be 'just friends' with that guy. I might want to be his bowling partner. I might want to be his drinking buddy. I might want to be his business partner. Lots of things."
Me:"Then why not just say, 'I'm not interested in you sexually right now. Sorry, but I'm just not. But I would still like to maintain a platonic friendship with you.' That solves that...."
Her:"Well ... sort of ...."
Me:"What do you mean, 'sort of'..."
Her:"Well, if you tell a guy you have absolutely no interest in having sex with him ... 90% chance, he's going to leave you alone. Assuming sex was his #1 objective."
Me:"So. If he's interested in having sex with you, but you're not .... why not make that clear, and if he leaves you alone and ceases his interactions with you ... so what?"
Her:"All women want guys that they can just hang out with ... without any sexual expectations ..."
Me:"Without any sexual expectations on your end, or their end? Why not make it crystal clear that you have no sexual interest in them, and take it from there...."
Her:"I already told you! The man will then leave you alone! He won't talk to you on the phone or hang out with you [socially]!"
Me:"Why should he? That man, if he's single, needs to be out with a woman who he's dating or fucking. Why waste time with 'platonic' female friends...."
Me:"I didn't say that. If you're interacting with a man who you have no sexual interest in ... and you know for a 100% fact that this man has no sexual interest in you .... then that's cool. That's a genuine platonic friendship. But if you're not interested in having sex with him .... but he's interested in dating you, or having sex with you, then it is manipulative of you to maintain that 'friendship', if that's what you want to call it...."
Her:"How is that manipulative?"
Me:"Because what you're essentially doing is ... you're holding up the possibility of sex in the future as sort of a 'carrot on a stick'. That guy ... Ralph, Brian, Bobby, whoever ... will continue to talk to you, and hang out with you, with the faint hope that 'one day' he might end up fucking you.That's manipulative on your part. You should tell him upfront, 'I don't have any interest in you sexually at this particular point in time. If that means you're going to leave me alone now, then so be it.'...."
Her:"Alan ... it's obvious you don't know women as well as I thought you did ...."
Me:"I beg to differ."
Her:"No woman is ever going to burn her bridges like that. If a woman says something like that, she's eliminating her opportunities for further ..."
Me (abruptly cutting her off):"... manipulation. Plain and simple. If a man thinks he 'might' fuck you sometime in the future, he's going to be more willing to flatter you ... more willing to 'wine & dine' you ... more willing to engage in 'trivial small talk' with you .... more willing to waste time hanging out with you socially. That man is looking to be 'rewarded' with your romantic and/or sexual companionship, and you know it."
Her:"Well ... I disagree ... but let's say you are right. What is so wrong with getting a guy to be friends with me by not closing the door on the idea of him having sex with me?"
Me:"It's obvious you don't know men as well as I thought you did. The reason you have misogynists, rapists, and serial killers of women is in part because of women who mislead men, manipulate them, and toy with their feelings and expectations."
Her:"Well, who knows ... maybe I learned something today."
Me:"No 'maybe' to it ... I just dropped knowledge on you today. But deep-down, you knew the truth anyway. I gotta go..."